


A Matter of Comfort

by OhanaHoku



Series: The Raven-Haired Warrior, A Raven-Haired Child [6]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Abuse, Child Soldiers, Childhood Trauma, Conditioning, Gen, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Merlin Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), One Shot, One Shot Collection, Only the wrong person is being comforted, PTSD, Past Child Abuse, Protective Gwen (Merlin), Protective Merlin (Merlin), Sad Gwen (Merlin), Sad Merlin (Merlin), Series, because i'm evil, merlin has issues, part of a series, set in season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25061842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhanaHoku/pseuds/OhanaHoku
Summary: Merlin responds to a summons from the queen and sets things stirring in the kitchen.
Relationships: Background Gwen/Arthur, Gwen & Merlin (Merlin)
Series: The Raven-Haired Warrior, A Raven-Haired Child [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764406
Comments: 24
Kudos: 255





	A Matter of Comfort

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThefandomsatHogwarts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThefandomsatHogwarts/gifts).



> What can I say? Sometimes I just have a one track mind. XD Here's another addition to the series, I hope you all enjoy it! This one is gifted to ThefandomsatHogwarts for their comment all the way back on the first installment! The great reception you gave my fic really helped drive me to continue this story, so thank you very much! <3

The warlock soon found himself in front of the queen’s quarters, having been summoned by another servant. He took a deep breath and forced a smile on his face, letting his tired facial muscles pull the corners of his lips up.

He entered the room with a cheery greeting, coming to stand in front of his longtime friend as she greeted him warmly. He bowed with a little flair that always made Gwen laugh, only this time, he was met only by a quiet murmur of his name.

He looked up, startled to find tears in her eyes. “Gwe-” The name died on his tongue as he was roughly pulled into a hug, his eyes widening as a cold feeling washed over him.

His hands came up and hovered around her. This wasn’t right, Gwen shouldn’t be hugging him,  _ comforting _ him. A murderer did not deserve such kindness, and now that Gwen knew what he was, she should have known that.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Gwen hadn’t been planning to handle things the way she was. She knew it wasn’t a good idea to crowd Merlin after what happened, and she’d only planned to talk to him, but then when he bowed like he always did all she could see was a smaller and beaten version of him bowing to a cruel king, trembling and bloodied as he awaited his newest orders.

How could she have never noticed? Never realized that there was something different about Merlin? There had to have been signs. Was she really that bad a friend that she hadn’t recognized them for what they were?

“Oh, Merlin.” She whispered, closing her eyes as her tears spilled over. She hugged him tighter and buried her face in his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” She sobbed, “I’m so sorry I never noticed, never realized, Merlin. I should have been there for you. You must have been so scared, and I just- I never noticed.”

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Her voice cracked as she started crying again, sobs wracking her thin body. It made sense now. Merlin had often offered hugs of comfort to the young woman. After her father died, after Lancelot died, after she was banished and when she returned. That was all this was.

She wasn’t trying to comfort him, he didn’t deserve that being the killer he was, but she needed comfort herself. And though it wasn’t logical for a murderer to comfort a queen, that was what Merlin always did. So as long as he still wore that mask, that was what he would do.

Letting his arms settle around her, he took a step closer to hold her weight easier and shushed her gently. “Gwen, it’s alright.” He assured her, squeezing her lightly and letting a smile lighten his tone.

“It’s not.” She insisted, mumbling into his shoulder as she gripped tightly onto his jacket.

“It is.” He repeated, his hands shifting to her hips to push her back. She resisted, and he relented with a huff as he put his arms around her again. “Gwen, you’re a wonderful friend. You couldn’t have known, because I didn’t want you to know.”

She sniffled softly against his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I wish you had never gone through such a horrible thing.” She whispered.

Merlin stiffened for a moment, swallowing thickly around a lump in his throat. “So do I.” He murmured lowly, feeling his mask slip for a moment before he yanked it back into place.

He relaxed his body and forced out a light laugh as he pulled back, the women letting him go this time. “But things are better now. I mean, sure, I have to wash Arthur’s socks, but I’m used to the smell by now.”

The words had the right effect as Gwen laughed and wiped at her cheeks. Merlin smiled, and this one felt just a little more real. “That’s better. Now, I have to go check on Arthur before I deliver some potions for Gaius. Arthur will be joining you for lunch as long as his meetings don’t run over time, so clean up and put on one of your beautiful gowns, alright?”

She nodded, giving him a soft look. “Alright. Thank you, Merlin.” The man nodded and headed to the door, but Gwen called out his name before he could exit. “Just, if you ever need to talk, I’m here.” She told him.

The servant felt his smile waver for a moment and nodded quickly before slipping out the door.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Unbeknownst to the two, the queen’s maidservant was down in the kitchen, standing in the middle of a gaggle of girls. “Gwen was crying, I’m not sure why, but it seemed to have something to do with Merlin.”

The girls glanced around at each other, questioning murmurs passing between them before another girl spoke up. “I heard the knights this morning when I served breakfast. Sir Leon said something about ‘Merlin’s tragic story.’”

“What do you think he meant by that?” Said another.

“I don’t know, but Sir Gwaine was very quiet at breakfast this morning, and you all know he’s usually the loudest one at breakfast. And he’s very close to Merlin as well.”

“That’s right. I remember Merlin got in trouble because of Sir Gwaine back before he was a knight.”

“I remember that too. Prince- I mean, King Arthur just about had a fit that day, and then he made Merlin and Sir Gwaine polish every boot the army owned.”

“But what kind of tragic story could Merlin have?”

“Are we sure they weren’t talking about a different servant?”

“Another servant called Merlin that’s close to the knights?”

“Alright, alright, but then what do you think they’re talking about?”

“You don’t think Sir Leon was talking about Merlin’s lineage, do you?” Came a hushed whisper.

“I’d never known King Arthur to hold something like that against anyone.”

“That can’t be it, but then what could it be?”

The head cook came over then and broke things up. “Enough gabbing, you lot!” She said, shooing them off to their chores. “There’s work to be done, and I’ll not have you lollygagging in my kitchen! Back to your chores, go! That’ll be enough talk of such things today.”

She leveled the queen’s maidservant with a stern look. “You had best keep your nose out of things that are not your business! That boy has enough on his plate dealing with the king, without you heaping more onto it with your addlebrained gossip!”

She watched the girl leave after a hasty apology and sighed, setting her hands on her hips as she shook her head. That young man just never had things easy.

**Author's Note:**

> Word Count - 1107. I was originally going to have Gwen comfort Merlin in this, and then it just sort of morphed into what we have now instead because I'm such a sucker for angst, and I think it'll flow much better this way. Let me know what you guys think or if you have any suggestions! I'd love to hear your thoughts, as always. :D
> 
> [my tumblr](https://ohanahoku-ao3.tumblr.com/)


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